And dignity is the most important and laudable traits of her writing. As a parent, let alone twin parent (and I am both) feeling a sense of dignity is a difficult thing sometimes. Particularly if there are complications, illnesses or other factors.
Everyone you happen across has an opinion or perception of what things are like for you, what your children are going through and what stage and reaction you should all have to whatever is going on. While it is Millbarge's unco-opereative insides over there, for me it is the assumption that it must be very difficult for me. And indeed it is, but I really do not need to hear any of the following:
It must be so hard
I don't know how you do it.
Yes, but how are YOU??
Must be such a handful for you
Are they twins!!!
I'm so glad I don't have twins
Did you get a nap today?
You can't have carried twins you're so small!
Just for the record:
Yes it bloody is;
Neither do I
Surviving only on mantras like baby steps and 'just keep swimming' (thanks dory)
No, no, my two six month olds who are wearing size 1 already fit perfectly on my 5'6", 48kg frame
No, they're not twins - I'm just a glutton for punishment. I mean just how stupid and clumsy do you think I am?
Thanks a lot, I really didn't need to hear sucks to be you, even if you did say it politely, a little sympathy if not empathy and compassion goes a long way, you know.
A nap, yeees well, seeing as I have two six month olds, a four year old and a six year old with all their associated food, toilet and laundry needs - NO I DID NOT GET A FUCKING NAP
Speaking of being little, obviously I bloody well carried them, I had them naturally, and yes they were crammed in tight and I suspect it had something to do with their being little - under 5lbs (2.5kg (ish) in the new money) and yes they took up every available bit of room between my sternum and pelvic bone.
And that's my rant done. Everyone has something too say when it comes to children and especially twins. Perhaps some would benefit from a thought for the parents before they go shooting their mouths off. As she says in another post over there
"I'm tired of talking about it. I'm tired of hearing ..{it}.. come out of my mouth."Funnily enough, we spend a lot of time as parents thinking about our children, the difficulties now and later and how perfect they seem to us and how hard some things can be to come to terms with. Now, I don't purport to be in a situation anything like theirs, or to even understand the real guts of what they are enduring, but I do know this:
As parents, often the last thing we want from other adults is to be reminded of our plight, so please spare a thought and ask how our big kids are, or what we are reading or watching, or did we see that new thing on the old thing, you could even offer some help. Anything as long as it doesn't return the focus back to what we would love to have a brief respite from.
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